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Once upon a time, I was head over heels for a guy who told me I was “out of shape”. Mind you, at the time, I was taking 3 hours of dance a day. I do not fit the description of out of shape in the slightest. I realized all he was looking for was a line down the middle of my stomach. That’s a fucking genetic thing. Right now, I’m really fucking in shape. I still don’t have a defined line down the middle of my stomach, but I do have a solid abdominal outline.

Long story short, I’m a really fucking beautiful person and the next time anybody tells me otherwise I’ll crush their head with my abs.


/co/ on Batman/Batgirl



Aw, Beyoncé gave Nicki Minaj a gift yesterday at the VMAs. Queens.


(via zimmyzim)

(via jokerofish)

How to sneak into a club:
1. Show up early
2. Sit down
3. Refuse to move when the bouncer asks for your ID and give him a look that says “look buddy I’m flattered but I’m definitely like 30”


Natalie Dormer | 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

But how did she grow her hair out so fast?! Didn’t she have her side shaved like a month ago?

(via haveabiscuit-potter)

Omg hilarious, I’m so good at sneaking into bars. My poor other friend came and got kicked out.

I walked past the bouncer and blended in with the groupies and got a wristband. The end. Hilarious.


booty had me like


These are from a wonderful book called The Art Of Comforting. Check it out and learn how to be better at supporting people going through difficult things.

My father is a manic indie dream girl disguised as an 68 year old white financial advisor. I just watched him do his nails the entire time he was on the phone and his office is covered in pictures of him and his girlfriend. I’ve never seen anyone take so many selfie or go to Coachella in a headdress until I met my father.

So in corporate office buildings, the higher the floor the higher the paycheck (unless you’re me). Today, unlike most days, only 2/6 elevators were working, so I had to get into the elevator with lower level scum (smh). There was me and one other lady left on the elevator after the 12th floor and we gave each other a mental fist bump after we both got off on the 16th floor. Matriarchy rising. Literally.

"I just came out here to have a good time but I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now" - pretty much describes my evening







Someone come and take my beer and Photoshop away from me. It’s 1 o’clock in the morning on a Friday.

Jesus take the wheel Waacom tablet.

Uh…I think I really need to pick up the next Assassin’s Creed game!

Finally! We have a strong male lead character in a video game.

The new Ass Creed game looks awesome

Finally an outfit that lets him do all those acrobatic moves comfortably.

This is GENIUS

(Source: seattletmbl, via fantanoice)

I don’t know why, but living in California fixes my weird cough that I sometimes have in the morning. Isn’t it interesting how much climate has an effect on us?

" The nicest people I’ve ever met were covered in tattoos and piercings and the most judgemental people I’ve ever met are the ones that go to church every Sunday. "

- Unknown (via llavendeur)

(via zimmyzim)